im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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