she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
