hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize