Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
