so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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