So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
