It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
