I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
