Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
