I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm passing your future prison.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
