I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
