i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
