Having a random hookup so left but love u
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
