No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
