i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize