My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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