A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
