Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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