people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
