why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
