good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
