How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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