How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
