my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
