I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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