Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
