i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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