You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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