I'm going to jail i love you
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
