Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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