Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
