I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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