Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
