Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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