we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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