I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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