Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
