thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
