he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
