I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize