absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
