I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
