I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
