If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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