if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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