She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
