R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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