Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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