Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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