Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
