Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
