It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
