lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
