I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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