smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's Friday. Sex?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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