just survived the first fart of the relationship.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
did i just pee glitter
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
