Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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