Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
