There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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