and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
