She said her name was "party"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
